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"Wishing for a different past will waste the present." This quote is on a neighborhood church billboard. I usually enjoy reading the sign but every time I pass this one I shake my head. I wish EVERY day for a different past on July 26th, 2017. How can my present be wasted when he WAS… Continue reading The Way He Died
My imagination is a terrible thing. It's a monster. It likes to play tricks on me. I will be driving in my car to work and I hear things. I'm not sure if it's voices or just noises. What I WANT to believe is it's a voice. I WANT to believe it's HIS voice. But… Continue reading Signs
“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.” ― Helen Keller While I feel empty most of the time, I feel him constantly. Funerals. Celebrations of life. Services. Since Zane's I have dreadfully attended 5. I should have gone to… Continue reading I Can Feel You
Wednesday on the way to school I asked Kai'Dyn to untangle my necklace. When she was finished I put it on and told her thank you, that was Zane's thumbprint. She then slightly teared up and said "well then I'm going to say a prayer.". Kai'Dyn bowed her head and prayed. It was so so… Continue reading Puppets and Strings
It's hard to hide tears but I think I've learned to do it well. After a year it's become habit. That shouldn't be the case but well, ya know. A client was talking about her AP classes... Zane was going to take them. Art... Zane was in art. Theatre... Zane was in theatre. UGH 😶… Continue reading God, I Hope He’s Okay
I so wish Zane could have seen the sight we saw at the Texas Motor Speedway Saturday. He would have been drooling. We were there for him. All for him. The Dallas heat was almost unbearable but we stayed at the track almost the entire day. Pulling up to park we were already in Mopar… Continue reading We Are Mopar 3, All For Zane
Why does it feel like yesterday when someone dies and a significant amount of time has passed? Why does God play tricks on our minds making us think it just happened? It only makes it hurt more all over again Kai'Dyn and I had a movie night, watching Penelope which I had never seen. In… Continue reading When Will the Sun Come Out