One ‘holiday’ down

Halloween. While Halloween is supposed to be fun, exciting, and something to look forward to, this year was not quite that. Yes, I wanted to see Zeagan in costume as Chewbacca and the other kiddos looking as cute as can be. Levelland holds an annual Trunk or Treat around the square where the Court House is located. My anxiety got the best of me. Too many people and too many kids yelling “mom”. Not one of them were calling for me. Not one. What I would do or give to hear his voice calling my name in a crowd again with excitement, smiling in his costume.

Zane and Daniel we’re so different when it came to Halloween costumes. Daniel liked original ones, he loved my mom making them or ones just thrown together at home. Daniel was anywhere from James Dean, Ropes Eagles football player to a jester to Felix the Cat. Zane on the other hand was satisfied with store bought costumes. They were safe, he knew everyone would like them. His anxiety wouldn’t get the best of him that way.

Since Zane was born October 6th, his first year he was only 3 weeks old. I found a dinosaur onesie. It was perfect for his first costume. It served it’s purpose ❤️. Before he could choose, there was a bumble bee, and a bat. For several years, he would have a Halloween themed birthday party. For his 4th birthday he was Mike Wazowski from Monsters Inc. Oh boy was he a cutie. He chose Clifford, a ninja, a skeleton, Spiderman, and one of the few times he allowed a homemade costume I glued yellow sponges to a box and yup you guessed it… SpongeBob SquarePants. That was his favorite cartoon character ever. He could watch hour after hour of SpongeBob. And as you can imagine, I could have broken the tv. Thank goodness for a large house and headphones. Guess who loves that character now with the horrible laugh?!? Uncle Zane Zane’s nephew.

Over the last few years, Zane had lost interest in Halloween but last year he wanted to see Zeagan in his costume as Jack Jack from the Incredibles. Oh he loved it. Zane laughed and laughed. And I know he would have loved Chewbacca this year as well. I vow to be in a better mood next year for the sake of Zeagan. This year was just hard, still too fresh. But then again, not one thing is going to be easy in the upcoming months.

I sure hope you had a fun Halloween. Maybe a Laughing Jack costume? Fly high baby boy, I love you.

2 thoughts on “One ‘holiday’ down”

  1. hey kekkie idk why but i decided to go through and read over your blogs… i do that lot when i am nervous about something or my anxiety is getting at me…Morgan always had a way to make that better ( i put Zane first but it felt off, so i had to put Morgan) but i remember him being the bat for Halloween that year… i don’t know i just felt like i had to tell you that i remembered that Halloween for some reason.l ok love you

    Liked by 1 person

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