Today is four months since I’ve felt your warm face.

Summer has gone. Fall has begun. We made it through a major holiday, Thanksgiving. Can you believe I talked Daniel into going to a NFL game? Him, Adrianna and Zeagan actually enjoyed themselves. Oh Zane you KNOW there’s no way I could have drug Daniel otherwise with us to Dallas on this trip. Mamaw and Pawpaw enjoyed them as well. I don’t think we had one conversation without your name being mentioned. We all miss you so much.

Through your short years on Earth, we took many many family vacations. Dallas always seemed to be our favorite. We still stay at the same hotel in Addison. We still go to the same malls. And now every time we go, each place will have a special memory. From Medieval Times to the Dallas Aquarium to Ripley’s Believe It or Not. I have pictures at all of these places.

Wish You Were Here

By Pink Floyd


, so you think you can tell
Heaven from hell
Blue skies from pain
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?

Did they get you to trade
Your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
Did you exchange
A walk on part in the war
For a lead role in a cage?

How I wish, how I wish you were here
We’re just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl
Year after year
Running over the same old ground
And how we found
The same old fears
Wish you were here

Four months. How long has it been since you’ve seen your best friend? Your mom? Your sister or brother? A week? A day? Maybe a month? But I bet it hasn’t been four months since you’ve seen your child under college age. So far I’ve been blessed to have seen Zane Morgan 3 times in my dreams. 3 glorious times. While it’s not the same as standing in the kitchen talking like we used to, I will take every chance I get. I pray he keeps surprising me from time to time. I’m sleeping better (well not on my own if you know what I mean) but I look forward to a possible encounter. Unfortunately I will continue to count the days that he’s been gone. It’s all I have. It’s all I know. The hole in my heart is unstitchable. I feel like one of Tim Burton’s characters.

Daniel is doing remarkably well after his car accident two weeks ago. His stitches came out last Monday from his right eye and the plastic surgeon said it looked great. His broken nose will heal on its own so no surgery. Even the burn from the seat belt across his neck and chest looks good. He will definitely have a few scars but like I always told the boys “Scars are just battle wounds, chicks dig ’em!”. The truck on the other hand is not so repairable. But that is ok, I did not care. I couldn’t bare be left without Daniel too. The thought of that was horrifying. My baby boy was with his big brother that day at 2pm on College Ave in Levelland in that 1997 green Chevy truck. I guarantee you he was. The airbag may not have deployed but something (someone) saved Daniel from slamming into the steering wheel or dash even harder. Daniel might have been ‘alone’ but ya know…

Thank you sweet angel.

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