Suicide Awareness

How Loved Are You?

As I sit and talk to Zane at the cemetery, I ask (scream) out loud “Why did it take you dying for everyone to show how loved you are?!?”

If the death of my baby wasn’t a big clue, I don’t care who you are, you need to tell anyone who means ANYTHING to you that you love them. Call, text, go by unexpectedly, drop by their work, email, Facebook message, whatever!!! Don’t let someone sink into depression because they didn’t feel loved or rejected. Take small clues to heart and don’t think any ‘threat’ is too small. Depression, anxiety and suicide are no joke.

Ok I’m done preaching for now.

Ha. For now.

While eating at Savannah’s Mexican Food Restaurant, Zeagan wanted chips…with the seasoned salt. Oh boy. Zane would steal the salt shaker from us. He refused to eat the chips without the salt. Looks like Zeagan is going to be just like his uncle yet again.

“How long

have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean’s shapeless form
Water’s getting harder to tread
With these waves crashing over my head

If I

could just see you
Everything would be all right
If I’d see you
This darkness would turn to light
And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright
I know everything is alright

Another funny story…only because the boys came over and mentioned making tea.

Around the time Zane was in 8th grade I decided to ditch the automatic tea maker and go back to the old way of making tea (boil water and tea bags on stove). I made tea this way for a while and I guess Zane never paid attention. While I was out shopping with my mom and sisters I get a phone call from Zane’s friend Sam. He wants to know how to make tea since Zane doesn’t know how to. So I proceed to give him instructions. After 15 minutes I almost gave up from frustration. I made him put me on speaker phone. These boys!! I had to talk to Zane! I made them write everything down…all the way to how much sugar and adding water. Success! I still give Sam a hard time.

Daniel is turning 21, without his baby brother. This pains me so much. We were getting a few things for Daniel’s birthday dinner and Joe made the comment that we only have one son turning 21 so get whatever I wanted. It kinda hit me. Just one. Only one to celebrate with. Only one to watch cross this big milestone. Try that one on for size. Ouch. I’m sure Daniel will be ok, but from my end it’s not so ok.

Ironically Joe and I were sat in the same booth AGAIN at Swackhammer’s that Zane, Joe and I sat in on our anniversary last year. I think that’s now our booth. Zane wanted to cheer me up after me getting the bad news of having to wear my neck brace 6 more weeks I suppose. Love that kid.

I was asked to make chicken spaghetti once again…. I still can’t do it.

The sun will come up eventually.

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