Suicide Awareness

I Will Need Him

Saturday on the way home from work I couldn’t even keep count of the butterflies I saw fly in front of me. That’s never happened. Later on that day I found out that the monarch butterflies were migrating. How fitting. And absolutely beautiful. Then I was reminded of their short yet gorgeous life span. Just like my son’s. Short but gorgeous. So no matter how far or hard you have to fly to get where you are going, keep going. Time is of no matter because God will take you at His own will and without warning. I’ll never understand in this lifetime why such a short period I had my child, but for the time he was here, he flew like a butterfly.

Joe had a rather odd experience the other day while he was home alone. He had just awoke from a nap and was putting on his shoes. Mia was outside and the three little dogs were right beside him. Out of nowhere he heard the guitar strum. He said it was like someone ran their fingers across it like what most people do when encountering a guitar. There’s only ONE explanation. His son. Who else would do that? Sweet signs. Joe was overjoyed about it, overjoyed to hear from his son.

I’ve mentioned the Out of the Darkness Walk in Lubbock on October 14th a few times. We will also be participating in the Speak Up/Reach Out Walk on October 28th in Levelland. I have been asked to be a speaker this year. It was a difficult decision but I’ve accepted. No, I’m not ready but I’ll never be so I have to start somewhere. And in front of my friends, family and others who have suffered the same I will tell our story of my sweet Zane. I pray he will be standing beside me and holding my heart. I will need him.

For a while now I’ve had a feeling that Daniel might need glasses so we got his eyes checked yesterday. Yup, glasses. Just like his baby brother. Let’s see if Daniel follows in Zane’s footsteps and goes through 297 pairs of glasses in a few short years 🤣🤣🤣. Oh Zane and his glasses. He had a love/hate relationship with them. The last pair he ever wore are under his picture in the living room, still dirty, just the way he left them.

Saturday Zane would be 18. There’s a reason for the butterflies. Beautiful.

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