The Gift

Last Saturday when we got our minor snow storm, we decided to go shopping. Backstage Rock n Roll Gift Shop now has a second location in the mall so we stopped in. We found a few things in there and the one of the guys shared a story about 5FDP. We shared our story about Zane. Then I told the guys that I bought Zane (special ordered) a 5FDP hoodie two years ago from the store to surprise him. He loved it and wore it out. After we made our purchase and walked half way down the middle hall, the first guy we were talking to caught up to us and gave us the owner’s information (Shane) and said to contact him. He wants to put Zane’s picture on the Wall of Fame in the store with others they have met. He said Zane’s story touched him. My baby lives on.

I talk and talk and talk to my clients every day. The closer to Christmas I get asked how I’m doing. I’m brutally honest. Not good. I put on a happy face for Kai’Dyn, Riot and Zeagan. Two years ago was the last true and real Christmas. Please, please do not get me wrong, to see the kids’ faces light up in two weeks will no doubt make me smile. I am excited to give them a good Christmas. Last year was horrible for Kai’Dyn and Riot, not just us. Zane would have been so upset about the events that happened. On Christmas Eve, their biological father took them from our church after candlelight service. These children did NOT go quietly into the night, they went screaming. My sister and brother-in-law at the time had no control of him taking them (so they thought at the time) because the police (actually one officer, so I am not blaming everyone) let him. He is their bio and said he had the right. Not true. He did not have custody, my sister and brother-in-law did. Joe and I were in Dallas, had just gotten back to the hotel after the Cowboys game and we got the call. Three weeks later when all was settled, after court, getting it straight with the kids CPS caseworker (whom at the time did not know because she was just being transferred to the case from the original investigator), we went and brought the kids home. We were finally able to have Christmas. Kai’Dyn also had to spend her 10th birthday there, around no one, no friends except the few she had made at the school he enrolled them at, and no close family. He didn’t even give her a birthday party…for a milestone double digit day. So we planned one here at home and showered her with love and gifts. About six weeks later the kids started visitation with their dad. The first time they were scared, scared of being kidnapped again, taken away to live with a family they hardly know. My sister had to reassure them that they were going home with her. They’re ok with visitations now. They feel safe. They know where home is.

Wednesday I broke down for the first time. I told my client something I haven’t told anyone or talked about. It stemmed from the question of how my holidays were going. I do not know why this particular memory came to mind. It’s probably one of the worst ones besides July 26th. Besides 2016 being the LAST Christmas we had with Zane, it was also the Christmas he unwrapped the gift…

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