Don’t Take My Sunshine Away

My goodness I’m sorry for the long hiatus since my last blog. I just haven’t felt like writing. But the morning after Mother’s Day I felt compelled to so here I am.

I was laying in bed trying to wake up, talking to the dogs when I started singing a song.

“You are my sunshine my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are grey, you’ll never know dear how much I love you, please don’t take my sunshine away.”

I cried while singing it. It’s what I used to sing to Zane as a baby. It’s also what I wrote on his casket. I have NO idea where it came from, I just started singing it. Maybe Zane was thinking about me. I don’t know. Maybe he knows I needed that after a third Mother’s Day without him. I should be getting used to holidays without his presence but oh hell no, it hurts all the same.

After I finished the song, all teary eyed I said I wondered what he would look like, how tall he would be now, where he would be living. Would he be in college or doing something else? I wouldn’t care, I would support him either way but of course I would push a little more towards college because that kid was way too intelligent. For goodness sakes he wanted to be a brain surgeon. But he also wanted to be an artist. I would be proud either way.

The next day, Tuesday, Joe and I had a phone interview with South Plains College. Zane’s name will soon be on a street sign on the SPC campus. My wonderful brother-in-law Carl and sister Carol (Plains Motor Supply) won an auction item in February at the SPC Scholarship Gala where a street sign can be named after anyone of their choosing. This was such an amazing gift to our family. Zane’s name will be displayed on the campus for a year!We told Stephanie Smith and Myrna Whitehead Zane’s life story, from birth to his death. It felt so good to talk about him. I haven’t told his story in quite a while. My sister and brother-in-law also had their emotional phone interview. Zane’s life story will be published in the SPC newsletter for June or July. We will gather for pictures when his sign is installed and have a small ceremony. Again, my baby boy lives on.

May 7th came so fast from last year. Joe and I have officially been mom and dad to KaiDyn and Riot for a year! We celebrated our very first Gotcha Day šŸ’œ.

We just paid for Zane’s 3rd scholarship at LHS. The recipient this year is a senior who will be majoring in graphic art. Audra Rose wrote in her essay that she loves to draw, paint, color, etc. That grabbed my attention, Zane would approve. I want Audra to make her family proud.

Joe has been completely rebuilding a pond for friends of ours, along with Daniel, Izayah and TJ. After round one of placing the rocks and stones, Joe had a dream that night. Zane came to him. Actually Zane was helping with the pond and told him it needed to be done a different way. Joe woke up with a different vision. He completely changed it. It turned out amazing. Thank you Zane ā¤ļø.

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