Something Good is Gone

Why when something good happens does it get taken away. I had two beyond handsome young men that I gave birth to, a husband of 20 years, a new daughter-in-law and grandson. All something good.
I mean, I’ve had bad luck in my life so that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about heartbreak that never goes away. A hole in the heart. Darkness. Constant darkness.

I’ve had my favorite make-up discontinued. I’ve developed severe allergies to things that I love like oranges and cashews. I have to ask restaurants and friends what wood or pellets they’re using to cook with I don’t have to use an epi-pen. I’ve permanently stained my favorite shirt or worn out my most comfortable pair of shoes. This still isn’t what I’m talking about.
At age 14 Daniel was diagnosed with Juvenile Myoclonic Epilepsy, a brain cyst and Chiari Malformation. At 36 I too was diagnosed with Chiari and a brain tumor. At 14 Zane was diagnosed with Chiari along with Zeagan at 8 months old. At 41 Joe was diagnosed with colon cancer. All life altering conditions. But still not what I’m talking about.

In late 2017 Joe and I got the call that we would soon be taking custody of our great-niece and great-nephew, Kaidyn and Riot. We went thru the entire adoption process and became parents again. In September of 2021 things came crashing down on the new family bliss and by December we were down a family member permanently. Long story short, a teenage girl did not get her way and now we have legal issues. Nope, not what I’m talking about.

What was good that got taken away was one of the most precious parts of me. He belonged to me. His soul was bound to my heart. On July 26, 2017 my sweet baby boy Zane Morgan at the age of 16 was taken from me. Ripped from my touch. Permanently. Never to be seen again. This is it. This was the good thing. My good thing is in the ground. My good thing is gone.

Please, if you are in any way having suicidal thoughts, call someone or the AFSP hotline.
1-800-273-8255 or
Text TALK to 741741

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