Let’s Cook

Five years later and the memories still sneak up and bite me. Since 2017 I have probably made Velveeta Shells & Cheese a hoard of times. This is why I don’t understand this flashback. But then again, I don’t understand much anymore.

Sunday evening I was putting the finishing touches on dinner, which included the Mac and cheese. I cut the foil packet open at the corner to squeeze the “cheese” out. I remembered vividly Zane’s demands for the cheese package after I got out of it what I could. He owned the cheese. The cheese was his. And we all know this isn’t real cheese 😂. So what did I do? I stuck that packet in my mouth and got every last drop out.

When Daniel was about 4 he went through a phase where he refused to eat anything green. That didn’t last long. We never had another issue with his eating habits again. Then there was Zane. Good grief that boy was picky! I had to pull so many tricks out of my hat to get him to eat! The chef at Tokyo Japanese Restaurant would automatically scramble him 4 eggs as soon as we sat down until he was about 10. Zane finally started eating the dinners there and we created a monster for his O’Hanas craving.

I am almost certain every week we had the same menu plan before he left us. I did this because I knew he would eat. Chili dogs, regular spaghetti, take out, baked chicken (with mac and cheese), and the boy’s absolute favorite chicken spaghetti. Sometimes we would have the chicken spaghetti twice in one week. All he had to do was just give me the look. Oh and don’t forget Rice-a-Roni Angel Hair Pasta and Herbs. He would eat an entire box on his own.

Every memory is such a treasure. Every memory is more precious than gold. I would rather have a pocket full of memories than a pocket full of cash.

Please, if you are in any way having suicidal thoughts, call someone or the AFSP hotline.
1-800-273-8255 or
Text TALK to 741741 or dial 988 #flyhighzane

2 thoughts on “Let’s Cook”

  1. It’s good to have those memories, it’s what keeps us going. Sometimes those memories can be a curse too but like you said, I’d rather have my memories then any other ungodly possession. Love you Mon Amie!

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