Suicide Awareness

Dreaming With My Eyes Wide Open

There's a huge difference between dreaming and having vivid images. I honestly am not sure which I'd rather have when it comes to the negative aspect. Joe and I were having a deep conversation last week. We both have vivid images. Images you do not want to even think about. But we both cannot get… Continue reading Dreaming With My Eyes Wide Open

Suicide Awareness

April Makes Nine

Today started like normal, nothing unusual. Well, nothing has been 'normal' for quite a while but I suppose this is my new normal. It was going fine...till I saw the date. Nine months. Oh how I loathe the number 26. Sometimes I feel like I have tunnel vision. As much as I travel the same… Continue reading April Makes Nine

Suicide Awareness

Fair Warning

I was driving to work Tuesday morning, it's sunny, slightly cloudy. I'm listening to XM radio like usual and 'Location' by Khalid starts to play... "Send me your location Let's focus on communicatin' 'cause I just need the time and place to come through" Another song on Zane's playlist. A flashback started. A new one.… Continue reading Fair Warning

Suicide Awareness

He Was My Future

"When the past dies, we mourn for the dead; when the future dies, we mourn for ourselves." ~ Gloria Steinem Is this what I am doing? I suppose. Probably because he was MY future. OUR future. Joe and I went to the gym Saturday morning and were headed straight to the softball field to watch… Continue reading He Was My Future

Suicide Awareness

How Loved Are You?

As I sit and talk to Zane at the cemetery, I ask (scream) out loud "Why did it take you dying for everyone to show how loved you are?!?" If the death of my baby wasn't a big clue, I don't care who you are, you need to tell anyone who means ANYTHING to you… Continue reading How Loved Are You?

Suicide Awareness

Ladybug Kisses

A cord of three strands is not easily broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12 The general translation is that if one man stands alone, he is easily beaten. Two men standing together is better but three is sure to be the strongest. Here's my translation: one person alone is lonely but braid that person with their family and… Continue reading Ladybug Kisses

Suicide Awareness

Every Day I Love You

Why was Easter so hard? Holidays are becoming as nasty as July 26th. The next two will be the worst for Joe and I. Yes we still have our Daniel to help celebrate our being a mother and a father but it's not the same without our baby boy. I know it's just a made… Continue reading Every Day I Love You